Heartbeats

That steady lub-dub lub-dub
Is the rhythm of my entire life
My ear to your chest
Affirms that you are mine
I listen at length
Comforted
How can I not be
When you're in my arms
And I hear
Lub-dub

The End of a Good Day

The gleam of the moon on your cheeks
My body curving into yours
The silence - sweet
To be safe and warm and feeling
the weight of a meal in my belly

It was a good day

My Evening Reminder

Every evening I am reminded
As I curl my body toward yours
That you are mine

My fingers slide across your cheek
I trace your nose
Your skin is warm

What a pleasant thought
Every night ends like this
And will, for all my days

Nose to nose

I can see only the dark outline of smiling eyes
Cuddled nose to nose on a Sunday morning
I poke your dimple and your grin widens
You make me feel so very dear
And completely content
Thank you for being mine

You Are

I simply say 'I love you'
But what I mean is this:

You are the answer, the question;
The beginning, the end;
The fresh, the worn;
The base, the summit;
The summer, the winter.

Of my entire life.

Grateful, ashamed

I saw my reflection in a hotel mirror
(They are everywhere)
And I was so....disappointed
And I felt grateful that you love me
Which made me feel ashamed
(Because it is such a sad reason)

It was horrible to realize that I
Have not seen myself as I am in so long

I feel powerless and hopeless
But still, grateful

Depths

You held my tears in your hands
And lifted my sinking heart
From the depths of something
Still unknown.

You crawled with me
And shut the door behind
In the brambles of my
Unsettling.

You shared yourself
And made me believe
Despite the desperation
Of my fears.

My Days, Your Love

My days are full of things I used to do
Work, sleep, play, chores
The difference now: there's you

With your hand in mine I'm pretty sure
I could handle anything
I know what I'm meant for

Being with you has taught me much
How a heart can feel full
With a lover's soft touch

It's not easy, I expected it so
But being your wife is worth it
And my love for you continues to grow

Goodnight

I put my hand in yours
Side by side in
This bed we bought
Where we end each day together
And start fresh the next
You whisper sweetness
I sigh, content and close my eyes
This is my life

In the dark

In the dark
Your skin warms mine
A tear escapes
I'm not sad
Contentment makes me cry
Sometimes
And I suppose my body has run out of ways to say
'I am so very happy'
Because words just don't do it justice

The comfort of knowing that he will wake up

When you're sobbing, panicked and half delirious
Into a cell phone while brushing your teeth and he is at work
And he can't understand a thing, except that you're upset
And he listens to your blubbering
And keeps listening even when he fears you might hyperventilate
And finally when you shut up
And hear for a few seconds
He says it will be okay

And later, when it is okay... sort of
But your brain wakes you up hours too early in the dark morning on a Saturday
And he is sleeping quietly next to you
And you sit there, reliving how horrible you felt just 14 hours ago
And you have to stay put because the apartment is too small to do anything else
But you're slightly comforted knowing that he will wake up in the next few hours
And until then his breathing and the sound of the ceiling fan
May prevent you from retreating entirely into your own head

So you sit criss-cross, half under the covers, and wait

During the night

I woke up last night
My face inches from yours
I touched the tip of your nose
And thought "this is love"
Before I let my eyelids drop

Realization of potential loss

Just now, a tragedy made me cry
On the news, but more
A realization that if
Any 'if'
You were taken away from me
I can't think

The Calendar

My heart won't go by - the calendar
I just look at you and I know
That it doesn't matter - the calendar
It makes no sense to control
The day to day of - the calendar
My feelings were true from the start
But I look sometimes at - the calendar
To remember the wonderful parts.

All that I want to do

All that I
Want to do
Is spend my time
Just with you.
I'll paint my nails
And put up my hair,
Grab my red pumps
And that dress I wear.

Fragmented

When you get news that Something Has Happened,
There may be a rush of adrenaline.
But, as one minute blends into the next, you fragment.
You may stand in your kitchen for an hour before you realize it
or answer the phone and sound cheerful
or make lunch like it's a normal day.

Or you fall apart.

I don't.
I become overly practical.
I'm the one who makes lunch.

A Sliver

I stood in the kitchen
Looking at my palm

You asked what was wrong
"A sliver," I replied

You pulled my hand
to your mouth

And gently moved
Your lips across my skin

It struck me as something
A mother would do

It's almost painful
To be loved so much

Your tenderness breaks me
And glues me back together again

You Held My Hand

The whole drive
Me, near tears
It was a trip I didn't want to take
But you were there
One hand on the steering wheel
And the other entwined with mine

When I squeezed
You squeezed

And I felt like I wasn't alone in life
Anymore